


Borrowing Trouble

by Savoytruffle



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-24
Updated: 2009-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-10 15:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savoytruffle/pseuds/Savoytruffle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Enterprise visits New Vulcan. Spock Prime comes aboard and tells Jim that Kirk Prime used to have a thing for Bones Prime. Jim decides to ignore it. Jim fails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Borrowing Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> Starts off all normal and coherent and sort of degenerates halfway through, along with Jim's mental state. First Spock Prime was stealing all the scenes, so I sent him back down to the planet, but then Uhura jumped into the frame and wouldn't go away. Bones was way less pushy, but I swear, he does manage to make the occasional appearance. Written for prompt #17 at the [Kirk/McCoy Fic/Art Challenge](http://community.livejournal.com/kirk_mccoy/35262.html) (prompt given at end of fic).  
> P.S. I don't know why I assume there are proms in the future. Or why I feel the need to keep bringing them up in fic.  
> P.P.S. There are no actual proms in this fic.

“Come in, Bones,” Jim calls, turning toward the door to his quarters when he hears it chime.

“Hey.” Bones spots the food on the table and heads toward it. “Thank god, I’m starving. Didn’t have time for lunch—” He breaks off abruptly to pin Jim with a suspicious stare. “What did you do, Jim?”

“What? Nothing,” Jim answers automatically. He then tries to figure out what he did do and how he’s going to get out of it, but it turns out he really didn’t do anything – or at least not that he can think of. “What are you talking about?”

Bones is still studying him. “There’s something,” he says. “You’ve got that look about you.”

“What look?”

“The up-to-something look. You’ve got nervous energy. You’ve been pacing since I got here.”

Once Bones says it, Jim realizes it’s true. He has been pacing. He shrugs. “I don’t know. We’re s’posed to be arriving at New Vulcan in less than an hour. I guess I’m just wondering what it will be like to see it.” _And him_ , Jim doesn’t add. _Spock Prime_ , as they’ve been calling him. “It’s just weird, you know?”

But looking at Bones, he can see Bones _doesn’t_ know, which probably makes sense since Bones has never done a mind meld. Jim’s not sure how to explain how he feels about the idea of seeing Spock Prime again – someone he sort of knows better than anyone and someone he sort of doesn’t know at all – so he doesn’t try.

“I mean, two Spocks,” he says instead. “That’s gonna be freaky.”

“Two too many, if you ask me,” Bones grumbles.

“I wonder if they’re gonna hang out,” Jim says, finally sitting down in front of their dinner. “What do you think they’d talk about?”

Bones sits down across from him. “Believe me when I say I don’t want to know.”

“C’mon, Bones – thought experiment. If you met the older, other universe you, what would you two talk about?”

Bones shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess he’d have a lot of CMO experience. I’d be good to get some best practices, see about any mistakes I could avoid making this time around.”

Jim just stares at him for a long moment.

“What?” Bones asks.

“Seriously? That’s your answer? Could you be any more boring?”

“And what would you do if you met your other universe counterpart?” Bones asks. “No, wait – let me guess. You’d fuck him.”

“I don’t know,” Jim says, pretending to consider it. “I mean, he’s older, right? So he’d probably want to fuck me. Unless he’s, like, too old to—we have a hyprospray for that, right?”

Bones rolls his eyes and Jim grins at him.

It’s not true, of course. Jim knows exactly what he’d do if he met the other-universe him – he’d ask about his father. Well, and then maybe let the other him screw his brains out. But in that order. Jim doesn’t tell Bones that, but he does maybe stare down at his plate a bit too long and when he looks back up, he gets the feeling like Bones has already figured it out.

Bones picks up the decanter in the middle of the table and pours them both a glass of replicated Jack Daniels.

Jim picks it up and takes a sip in the silence. Time to think about something else.

“Hey,” Jim says, his brain suddenly processing Bones’ earlier comments, “what have I told you about skipping lunch when you’re on shift, _Doctor McCoy_?”

“Whatever you’ve told me, _Captain_ , it’s been utterly hypocritical and I probably haven’t listened any better than you have.” They exchange brief, perfunctory glares. “Speaking of food – eat up, Jim. We’ll be at New Vulcan any minute and no one should try to deal with two Spocks on an empty stomach.”

Jim nods and digs into his dinner. He can feel his leg bouncing under the table.

 

 

_“Bridge to Kirk. Captain, we will be in orbit around New Vulcan in ten minutes.”_

“Thank you, Mister Chekov. I’ll be right there.” Jim closes his communicator and turns to Bones. “You coming?”

Bones shakes his head as they both stand and head for the door. “One Spock is more than enough for me, thanks. I’ll just take the medical shuttle down to the planet tomorrow morning as scheduled.”

Jim nods. “I’ll go with you.”

“I don’t need a babysitter, Jim. I’m perfectly capable of riding in a shuttle all on my own.”

They step out into the hallway together, about to head in opposite directions.

“I’m not your babysitter, Bones. I’m your friend. Who just so happens to love flying shuttles and also happens to be in charge of this ship.” Jim waggles his brows a bit and grins as he slaps Bones on the shoulder. “Which means I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

 

 

Jim never gets tired of walking onto his bridge.

“Captain, we are now in orbit around New Vulcan.”

“Thank you, Mister Sulu.”

“Receiving a communication from the planet, sir,” Uhura reports.

Jim positions himself in the center of the bridge and tries to look extra captainly. “On screen.”

The enlarged face of Spock Prime appears on the screen just as their own Spock comes around to stand next to Jim center stage. Jim glances between them and wonders, not for the first time, how Spock Prime always manages to make emotionless looks so serene, while on their Spock it usually just comes off as pissy.

Spike Prime nods to them. _“Captain, Commander.”_

Jim waves his hand. “Oh, please. You can call me Jim.” He gestures at their Spock. “And you can call him…. Oh, well I guess that’s kind of awkward, isn’t it?” Another wave of the hand. “Well, you two can work it out later. So – are we going down there or are you coming up here?”

Though their Spock remains perfectly still beside Jim, Jim can tell he’s on the verge of an informality-induced aneurism. The expression on Spock Prime’s face, however, almost resembles a smile. _“I believe I will come aboard,”_ he says. _“I would be quite interested in seeing the Enterprise again.”_

Jim smiles. “And she’ll be happy to have you.”

Spock Prime disappears and is replaced by a view of New Vulcan.

“Sulu, you have the conn,” Jim announces as Spock follows him into the turbolift.

 

 

Jim can’t believe they’re actually jockeying for position on the turbolift.

Well, Jim can believe _he’s_ doing it, because that’s totally like him, but it takes two to jockey and Jim would have bet Bones’ best bourbon that Spock would be above jockeying.

Apparently not.

Jim casts Spock a sidelong eyebrow as they slowly shift about without speaking, each trying to edge the other out to assure he’ll be first one off the lift.

In the end, Jim wins, probably because Spock would consider it an unforgivable breach of protocol to bodycheck his captain into the doorjamb – and because Jim totally knows that and is willing to use it to his advantage.

They proceed down the hall in what starts like a walk, but quickly begins to resemble a run.

Jim works to keep his breath steady and his voice casual. “Are you racing me down the hallway, Mister Spock?”

“I am merely keeping pace with you, Captain.”

Jim smirks. “Sure you are.”

They come to an abrupt halt outside the transporter room door.

“After you, Captain.”

“Oh, no, Commander, by all means, after _you_.”

 

 

 

The transporter room’s still empty when they get there anyway, except for Scotty at the controls.

He nods at them. “Captain, Commander. I have a lock on Spock,” he begins, before looking at their Spock and frowning, “er, the other Spock, the, um, the elder Spock…”

Jim smiles. “Let’s just go with _Ambassador_ Spock, yeah?”

Scotty nods. “ _Ambassador_ Spock is ready to beam aboard, sir.”

Jim turns to their Spock. “You ready?”

For once, Spock doesn’t seem to think it’s a stupid question. After a moment, he nods slightly.

Kirk reaches up to touch Spock’s shoulder for just a second before letting his hand fall back to his side and turning to face the platform. “Beam him up, Scotty.”

 

 

 

Three hours later, Jim is in heaven.

It’s the first time he’s ever given a tour of his ship to someone who’s as genuinely interested in her every little detail as Jim himself. They’re only just leaving Engineering – which also happens to be where they started – but Jim’s pretty sure they could both keep going all the way through Gamma shift without getting bored or even tired. Who needs sleep when you’ve got a beauty like this just waiting to show off her charms?

Besides, every other thing he points out seems to remind him of one of their missions and leads to a whole detailed story.

He’s not sure anyone has ever listened to him with such undivided attention before.

Maybe Bones, sometimes, but even then there’s always eyerolling.

Anyway, he could get used to it.

“Ready for the bridge?” he asks, with one last longing look back at the engines.

“Yes, of course.” Spock Prime joins him in the last look. “Though perhaps you might permit me the opportunity to return again before you leave orbit…”

Jim grins, basking in the fellow-feeling. “Our door’s always open,” he says. “Besides, I’m sure Scotty’s just waiting to get you alone so he can try to talk you into revealing more of his future innovations.”

Spock Prime raises an eyebrow. “I suspect that would be unwise.”

Jim laughs. “I suspect you already know that’s not going to stop him from trying.”

 

 

 

“I still don’t understand why he was so hellbent on getting back to finish his bridge shift,” Jim muses as he and Spock Prime ride the turbolift to the bridge. Jim had invited the other Spock along for the tour, but Spock had declined, insisting he was still on duty. “I mean, what’s the point of being in charge if you can’t let people out of a shift once in a while on a special occasion? And what could possibly be more special than hanging out with yourself? Yeah, sure, logic, whatever.” Jim waves a hand. “But why the hard-on for regulations?”

“His…affection is likely less for the regulations in this case, than for the sense of order. I believe he finds the situation…unsettling.”

“But he was excited to see you.” Kirk hesistates. “Or at least he seemed excited. Or – you know – like extra-interested or fascinated or whatever.”

"There is also New Vulcan. Taken all together, it is quite a lot to...assimilate."

It occurs to Jim that it’s probably going to take him years to learn to read his First Officer – which would be annoying if he didn’t love a challenge.

It also occurs to Jim that he might want to be extra-nice to Spock for the rest of this assignment, but he rejects the idea almost immediately – where would be the fun in that?

“He would not want your pity,” Spock Prime informs him.

_Yeah, that too._

 

 

 

No sooner does Jim introduce Spock Prime to Sulu and Chekov than the three become engrossed in a deep discussion concerning the virtues of various forms of propulsion on Constitution class starships. A good time is obviously being had by all, and Jim is tempted to join in, but if he were up there with them instead of back here by the turbolift, he wouldn’t be able to watch his First Officer pretending not to watch himself.

Or to watch his Communications Officer watching his First Officer pretending not to watch himself.

He should have replicated some popcorn, Jim thinks, as his eyes shift between Spock and Uhura.

Spock’s eyes are glued to the screen of his station like it holds the answer to universal peace, but Jim is pretty sure those are just a bunch of equations Spock solved yesterday in approximately three seconds.

Meanwhile, Uhura’s screen could be streaming Akritirian prison porn at this point and Jim’s pretty sure she wouldn’t notice, what with all the nervous glances in the direction of Spock Prime and the repeated and futile attempts to catch her own Spock’s eye.

As the conversation at the helm continues, growing ever more passionate, at least on Chekov’s and Sulu’s parts, Young Spock’s shoulders inch higher and higher and Jim’s pretty sure at some point they're going to overtake the points of his ears.

And that’s kinda something he’d pay to see.

Not that Jim doesn’t get it, though, because he really, really does. It’s one thing to have another you hanging around. It’s a totally other thing if everyone likes him better. If there was another Jim Kirk here smiling and shaking hands and palling around with the crew like he was running for prom king, Jim’s pretty sure he’d have punched the guy out by now.

Not that Spock Prime is smiling.

Or shaking hands.

Or has any idea what a prom king is.

But he does have this way about him and this quiet familiarity with all of them and all of this and it hasn’t even been a year for them here in this universe and they’re really all still settling in. Finding their space legs.

Uhura inches further from her own station and closer to Spock’s. She clears her throat for the fifth time.

Jim smothers the urge to laugh.

Spock doesn’t look her way. He doesn’t even blink.

Spock Prime leans over Chekov’s shoulder as Chekov’s fingers fly over his screen. Spock Prime reaches down and makes a couple of quick taps. Chekov all but squeals and starts talking so fast and high Jim’s not even sure it’s English anymore.

Uhura falls into a coughing fit.

Jim clears his own throat and steps forward. “Ambassador,” he interjects smoothly when Chekov is finally forced to pause for breath, “have you met Lieutenant Uhura?”

Uhura darts back in front of her station and swallows.

“Ambassador,” she chokes out as Spock Prime approaches.

“Lieutenant,” Spock Prime replies, nodding.

Their Spock, Jim notes, has finally torn his eyes away from his console.

Spock Prime stands there, waiting for Uhura to say something, but Uhura can’t seem to find her words – an irony which is not lost on Jim.

He steps over to Spock and kicks him in the foot. Twice.

Spock glares at him in that that pretends-to-be-merely-curious-but-actually-calls-you-a-moron way and totally fails to take the hint. Twice.

Jim rolls his eyes and moves to stand by Uhura himself instead, resisting the urge to place a hand on her shoulder as he tells Spock Prime: “Lieutenant Uhura here is proficient in 83% of official Federation languages and regional dialects, including Vulcan. _And_ she’s fluent in all three Romulan dialects, which is how she helped us save Earth.”

Uhura glances up at him with a looks that says, _Shut up and go away_.

Jim looks back down at her with his own look that says, _Don’t you mean ‘Shut up and go away, **Captain** ’?_, then casts a glance over at their Spock and back in an effort to point out that, _I thought this is what you wanted_ , but he guesses it doesn’t really count coming from him.

Jim claps his hands together. “So that’s the bridge,” he says, “but, you know, we’d better get to sickbay before Bones goes off duty. I’m sure he’ll want to show you around himself.”

“I look forward to it.” Spock Prime’s nod of acceptance gives no indication of whether he can see through Jim’s statement or not, but the important thing is that he moves away from Uhura and towards the turbolift. He pauses briefly to nod at Young Spock. “Commander,” he says.

“Ambassador,” Young Spock replies.

Spock Prime steps into the turbolift.

Jim rolls his eyes again and follows.

 

 

“May I ask an irrelevant question?” Spock Prime asks after the turbolift doors have closed.

“Shoot,” Jim says.

“Does this version of Lieutenant Uhura dislike Vulcans?”

Jim almost chokes on his own spit. “I…um…wouldn’t say that...”

“What would you say?” Spock Prime asks when Jim doesn’t continue.

 _Um, nothing, because it’s crazy embarrassing,_ Jim thinks. “I take it that you and Uhura were not, um… _involved_ in your reality?” he says instead.

This gives Spock Prime pause. “Indeed we were not,” he says finally. “It is…fascinating.”

Jim snorts. “Tell me about it.”

“I’m afraid it is you who would have to tell me about it.”

Jim shifts. “Uh, I’m…I mean…” He looks over at Spock Prime’s face and then frowns. “That was totally a joke, wasn’t it?” He nods. “See, I’m starting to catch on.” Another pause, then: “So, really? No you and Uhura?”

“We were…not in the habit of conducting…personal affairs while on board the ship.”

“Right,” Jim says. “Well, you know, it’s not like it’s a _habit_ or anything. I mean, I’m pretty sure Uhura’s the only one the other you…well, you know…but, I mean, I think it’s pretty serious and stuff…and it’s not like I…. Okay, well there are a couple of people here who I…um, back in the academy days and all… But it’s not like I _knew_ that I was gonna be captaining a ship anytime soon or anything and now that I am I don’t….” The turbolift doors open suddenly, bringing Jim to his senses. “This is too much information, isn’t it?”

Spock Prime neither confirms nor denies that statement.

“So,” Jim says, starting down the hallway, “sickbay.”

“Sickbay,” Spock Prime repeats.

“Right. I’ll just call Bones and make him come down and give us the tour.”

“You said you believed Doctor McCoy would still be on shift.”

“Oh, no, that was a lie. We just needed to get out of there. Because, um, younger you? _Awkward._ But anyway…” Jim pulls out his communicator. “Kirk to McCoy.”

_“McCoy here.”_

Jim flashes a charming smile that’s totally wasted on the communicator, but helps him get the right tone. “Hey, Bones.”

_“What d’you want, Jim?”_

“I want you to come and give me and Spock a tour of sickbay.”

_“Jim, I spend most of my days in sickbay, not to mention all the times I get dragged down there to patch up your sorry ass. I’m off duty. I’m not gonna…”_

“Fine, fine, you’re right,” Jim says. “We’ll just give ourselves our own tour.”

_“Get Chapel to show you around.”_

“No, no, that’s okay. I wouldn’t want to bother her. I think I know how everything works, anyway…”

_“Jim…”_

“And if not, Spock here probably does.”

_“Jim, I’m warning you, if you—”_

“Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”

_“Damn it, Jim, get Chapel to—”_

“Kirk out,” Jim says quickly, snapping the communicator shut with a grin. “He’ll be with us in a minute.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Well that was weird,” Jim says as he and Spock Prime leave sickbay. “You and Bones,” he clarifies off of Spock’s questioning look, “with the _talking_.”

“Doctor McCoy and I do not converse in this reality?”

“Not civilly,” Jim says. “And not for almost an hour.”

“Doctor McCoy has always been quite interested in Vulcan physiology.”

“And the banter,” Jim says. “There was _banter_. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you actually liked each other.”

“Doctor McCoy…” Spock begins.

“Let me guess,” Jim says. “He has been and always shall be your friend.”

“Indeed,” Spock confirms.

Jim shakes his head. “Fascinating.”

 

 

Jim leads Spock Prime through the hallways and down a few decks to finish the tour with the crew lounge. He resists the urge to ask any of a thousand questions about the interpersonal dynamics of their alternative reality counterparts. It doesn’t really matter anyway, he reminds himself. They’re different people now and the makers of their own destiny.

When they enter the lounge, Young Spock and Uhura are already there, sitting across the room at a table for four.

Jim fakes a large yawn. “You know, I suddenly feel kind of exhausted. Maybe you should just…”

“You told them to be here,” Spock Prime says, gazing at the table. It isn’t a question.

“They’re off duty,” Jim says. “I can’t _tell_ them to be anywhere. That would be an abuse of power.” Jim shrugs. “But, hey, as long as they just happen to be here where you also just happen to be – you should join them.”

“Yes, I should.” Spock Prime looks away from the table to meet Jim’s eyes. “Thank you, Jim. For the tour.”

“Anytime,” Jim says. Then: “Can I ask you…?”

“Anything.”

It’s not supposed to matter, but he finds he has to know. “Bones and I – in your time – we’re still friends, right?”

Spock Prime’s long pause sends Jim’s heart into his throat. Spock Prime looks over at his counterpart sitting with Uhura and back at Jim again.

“You were friends,” Spock Prime says at last, and Jim can breathe again. Jim’s just turning back toward the door when Spock Prime decides to finish. “But there was a time when you…wished for more.”

Jim does a double take.

Make that a triple.

On the rocks.

“You’re joking again, right? One last dose of Vulcan humor, extra dry?”

“I do not know if he felt the same way. You never asked him. And it was not my place.”

“We didn’t do that kind of thing,” Jim says slowly, trying to find his words. “On the ship.”

“We did not.”

“I was afraid it would…I wouldn’t have wanted to risk our friendship.”

“That is correct.”

Jim nods. “Right. Good. That’s good.” He swallows, feeling the rush of heat beneath his skin, and stares down at the floor. “And I don’t even…I mean, this me and this Bones…we’re just…it’s good. Friends is good.” He looks up at Spock Prime for confirmation.

“Perhaps it will not happen as it did before,” Spock says at last.

“As it did before? You mean maybe I won’t develop a thing for Bones? Because, um, yeah – I’d be good with that.”

“Having witnessed your interactions in the sickbay, I find that highly unlikely. I simply meant that perhaps this time,” Spock Prime casts another look at couple at the table, “without protocol as an excuse, you will find the courage to act on your feelings rather than allowing them nearly to destroy your friendship. Thank you again, Jim. I will see you tomorrow.”

Jim’s mouth opens and closes a couple of times as he tries to process this revelation. “Wait. _What_?”

But Spock Prime is already across the room.

 

 

Jim’s mind is still racing when he gets back to his quarters, so sits down at his desk, picks up his PADD and starts working on his overdue reports. As expected, after about forty-five minutes of wading through pointless, bureaucratic detail, his mind has lost any and all interest in continued consciousness.

He stands up and strips out of his uniform, then pulls on a pair of regulation sleep pants.

(He’d stopped sleeping in the nude after the second time Spock burst into his quarters in the middle of the night during an emergency. Second, because after the first time he’d really been hoping to see that particular expression on Spock’s face again. He’d soon learned, however, that you never got to see Spock embarrassed by the same thing twice and decided to go ahead and start wearing the pants. Of course, that only meant Jim was forced to divert a significant amount of his brain power to coming up with _new_ ways to embarrass Spock, which might have been a problem if not for the fact that Jim was sort of a genius and had strategic power to spare. But anyway…)

His brain is calm now, as he slides into bed, and if there’s one thing Jim Kirk is not – in any universe – it’s a coward, so he looks himself straight in his mind’s eye and asks himself if he’s been secretly carrying a torch for his best friend.

 _No,_ he decides after a long moment, _he has not_.

Spock Prime may be well meaning, but he’s misguided – fooled by old memories into seeing something that isn’t there. This is a different universe and Jim is a different Captain James T. Kirk and Bones is a different Bones and everything is going to be just fine.

Like Bones always says, there’s no point borrowing trouble.

 

 

The trouble starts the next morning when Kirk heads to the shuttle bay and boards the medical shuttle for New Vulcan.

Bones is already there, bent over to examine a low supply shelf and muttering to himself about something, as usual.

The position gives Jim an excellent view of Bones’ ass, which he’s almost certainly had before, probably countless times, but now has to convince himself he is not enjoying.

Stupid Spock Prime.

He’s still staring – but definitely not enjoying – when Bones notices his arrival and stands up, turning around.

“Morning, Jim.”

Jim swallows. “Hey,” he chokes, looking down.

“Seems like you enjoyed your tour with the Ambassador last night.”

Jim’s head snaps back up. “What? No. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would you even say that?”

Bones is the one staring at Jim now, with a look that definitely questions Jim’s sanity. Jim replays their exchange in his head and realizes that there is no question: he is definitely losing it.

 _Get it together, Kirk._ He takes a breath and tries again. “I mean…”

But Bones is already shaking his head and moving on. “Damn it, Jim, what have I told you about that third cup of coffee in the mornings?” He turns back around to examine the next supply shelf, which also happens to be a low one.

Jim watches as regulation black fabric slowly stretches taut across his CMO’s backside. He laughs the short, sharp bark of a total lunatic. “Heh, yeah, I, uh, really should be cutting back.” He flails an arm in the general direction of the cockpit, even though Bones can’t see the gesture. “I’ll just, um, go make sure she’s ready to fly.”

_Smooth, Kirk, smooth._

He settles himself into the pilot’s seat, takes a deep breath and calms himself with the preflight routine…only to nearly jump out of his skin again five minutes later when Bones slips into the seat next to him.

“Are you okay, Jim?” Bones asks, trying to meet his eyes.

“What? Yeah, of course.” Jim avoids Bones’ gaze as he gropes for an excuse. “I just didn’t sleep that well last night, I guess.”

The cockpit suddenly feels tiny. Way too small for two whole people. He really should have assigned some additional crew members to this mission. One or two… maybe fifty. Suddenly he feels two cool fingers at his neck, pressed just below the curve of his jaw. He jerks away.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you,” Bones says.

“Don’t you have a tricorder for that?” Jim snaps.

“You’re flushed and your pulse is racing,” Bones announces calmly. He’s studying Jim far too closely now and Jim is starting to feel far too transparent. Which is stupid because he doesn’t even _have_ a thing for Bones, just a dumb idea that some dumb Vulcan got stuck in his head. And what do Vulcans know about feelings, anyway? Jim tunes back in to Bones’ voice in time to catch, “…find someone else to pilot the shuttle?”

Jim shakes his head. Not that it’s not tempting, but this is ridiculous and he needs to get over it. Like yesterday. “I’ve got it,” he says. “I’m fine.”

He starts the launch sequence.

 

 

 

Things get better after that. Bones has stopped staring at Jim and Jim isn’t ever going to look Bones in the face (or in the ass) ever again and they’re going to be just fine. They make their usual small talk and Jim doesn’t crash the shuttle and Bones doesn’t throw up on him and they’re at the surface in no time, handing off their medical supplies to a team of Vulcan doctors.

Jim pays no attention while Bones is doing any heavy lifting and does not see any of the sweat that glistens on and slides over Bones’ skin. He does not notice the way strands of dark hair cling to that glistening skin either.

Bones is supposed to be a doctor, damn it, not some construction worker.

Someone hands Bones a jug of water.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Jim mutters while he most definitely does not watch Bones’ throat ripple as he downs half the jug in one go. Jim pulls out his communicator and waves it in Bones’ direction without getting any closer. “Call me when you’re ready to head back to the ship,” he says before wandering off to find something diplomatic to do.

And, yeah, hitting on Vulcan women totally counts as diplomacy.

Even if Jim strikes out big time.

 

 

 

Over the course of the next week, as they orbit New Vulcan, Jim comes to realize that he and Bones spend a lot of time together.

In theory, he knew this.

In reality, he had no fucking idea.

On the first day, he starts to notice how often Bones comes to the bridge.

For no apparent reason.

It’s weird, he decides. And damn distracting, too. So on the second day, when Bones steps off of the turbolift, Jim says as much.

The conversation goes something like this:

Jim to Bones [trying to sound captainly and official and shit]: What are you doing here, Doctor McCoy?  
Bones to Jim [confused]: Uh… _Asks bullshit question about another medical shuttle going down to the planet in like five days that he totally could have asked over the com or like four days from then._  
Jim to Bones [pissy]: You come to the bridge, like, all the time for no apparent reason and it’s weird and kinda distracting.  
Bones to Jim [so much pissier than Jim could ever manage even on a good day]: Sorry to distract you, **Captain.** _Turns to leave._  
Jim to Bones: Don’t let the turbolift door hit you in the ass on the way out! _Does not watch that ass on its way out._  
Rest of the bridge crew to each other [while pretending to do their jobs]: What the fuck?  
Jim to rest of the bridge crew: As you were.

Bones doesn’t come back for two whole days.

And Jim doesn’t go to sickbay on those days either, because the Vulcans are their friends and they don’t hurt Jim when he goes down to their planet, so Jim does not need patching up.

Which is how the third and the fourth days of the week end up being pretty much the boringest, suckiest days Jim’s ever spent on the _Enterprise_.

Which is why, on the fifth day, Jim goes down to sickbay.

For no apparent reason.

The conversation goes something like this:

Bones to Jim [in a no-nonsense doctor voice that is in no way sexy]: Can I help you, Captain?  
Jim to Bones [sheepish]: Um… _Some bullshit question about the medical shuttle going down to the planet in two days that really doesn’t need an answer._  
Bones to Jim [pissy]: It’s taken care of, Captain. If there’s nothing else… _The ‘…you can just show yourself out’ is implied. Strongly._  
Jim to Bones [contrite]: I’m an asshole.  
Bones to Jim [with the eyebrow]: Yeah and…?  
Jim to Bones [with a shrug]: Pretty much just the asshole thing. Friends?  
Bones to Jim: Get the fuck out of here. And, yeah, friends.  
Rest of the medical staff to each other [while pretending to do their jobs]: What the fuck?  
Bones to the rest of the medical staff: As you were.

 

 

As they were.

And so they resume normal friendship activities.

Which, since the fifth day is Saturday, means Saturday night poker with Scotty and Sulu and the latest batch of Scotty’s moonshine. Which is a significant improvement over last week’s batch and probably only burns a tiny hole in Jim’s esophagus, and Jim figures Bones’ll probably fix that for him now that they’re talking again.

Saturday night poker is good and Scotty is funny as hell and Sulu is a fucking card sharp who takes them all for everything they’ve got and Bones is just Bones again and Jim thinks, _Yeah, I can do this._

 

 

The sixth day is Sunday night dinner in Jim’s quarters with just him and Bones and it’s good, too, and Jim thinks, _Yeah, I can **totally** do this._

 

 

But on the seventh day, Bones shows up at Jim’s door at 0600 for their Monday morning workout – which they skipped last week to go down to the planet – and it occurs to Jim, possibly for the first time in his whole life, that he may have been a bit overconfident.

Because then they’re on the recreation deck and running five kilometers on the track – four of which Bones does shirtless.

And then it’s the free weights – all of which Bones does shirtless – with the bench press and the spotting and doctors really aren’t supposed to be this ripped.

And then there’s the push-ups and the crunches – and the ongoing shirtlessness – and the part where Jim begs off early because it’s really hard to hide a hard-on in gym shorts.

One Earth week to the day since Jim flew Bones down to New Vulcan and Jim thinks, _I am so fucking done for._

 

 

 

Jim returns to his quarters, jerks off in the shower, gets dressed and makes it to his bridge shift at 0800.

He looks around at the relative emptiness. Chekov is at the helm and Uhura is at her station. Bones is probably on his way back down to the planet by now and Commander Spock is piloting that shuttle.

Jim holds out until 0900.

“Mr. Chekov, you have the conn. Lieutenant Uhura, may I see you in my office?”

She follows him into the room just off the bridge. Jim forgoes the desk and settles himself into one of the armchairs instead.

Uhura stands.

“Nyota,” Jim says.

“Captain.”

“Call me Jim.”

“I’d rather not.”

Jim waves at another armchair. “Have a seat.”

“Do I have to?”

“Please?”

She perches on the edge of the chair, crossing her legs and folding her hands over her knee.

Jim comes out of his own slump to lean forward and study her for a moment.

“Captain?”

“Can we talk?”

“About ship’s business?” Only a xenolinguist could so skillfully blend hope and skepticism into one dulcet tone.

“I admire you,” Jim says.

She blinks at him. “Um, thanks?” She glances back at the door. “Are we done here?”

“Nyota,” Jim repeats, “can I ask you something?”

“If I say ‘no,’ will it stop you?”

Jim takes that as a green light. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. He stands and walks over to his desk, opening the bottom drawer and pulling out a bottle. “Would you like a drink?”

“I’m on duty, Captain.” She kindly leaves off the ‘…and so are you.’

Jim sighs and sets the bottle back in the drawer, pushing it closed. He comes around to the front of the desk and leans on its edge. “What if you and Spock break up?”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, you _work_ together. Like every day. _In space_.”

She frowns. “Captain, if you’re concerned that our relationship might interfere with—”

“Would you stop calling me ‘Captain’? This isn’t a captain question, alright? Humor me here.” He gives her the pleading eyes that have never ever worked on her. “For once. What if you and Spock break up?”

She studies him for second, then smiles slightly. “Then I’ll be sad,” she says.

“And…?”

“And he’ll be stoic.”

Jim rolls his eyes. “And…?”

She shrugs. “And we’ll go on.”

“Just like that?” Jim shakes his head. “I mean, he’ll be right there. Like every day. _In space_. Isn’t that going to be hard?”

She tilts her head at him. “Do you know something I don’t know?”

“Oh, no. No,” he repeats again for good measure, “I’m sure you’re fine. It’s just – what if you weren’t? It just sounds so…awkward.”

She studies him for another second and Jim gets the unfortunate feeling that she’s starting to figure him out. She stands up. “Look, Jim,” she begins, “we’re friends…”

“You and me?” Jim asks, because he thinks it might be kind of nice, but he’s really not sure they’re there yet.

“Me and Spock,” she says.

 _Right._ That makes more sense. “But doesn’t that just make it worse?”

The return of her ‘You’re an idiot’ look is oddly comforting. “Friends work things out, Jim. Even when it’s difficult. We care about our jobs and we care about each other. And that’s what matters in the end – not where we sleep.”

Jim nods. “But if it’s all about the friendship, why even bother with the…?” He waves his hand.

And that’s when his Communications Officer laughs at him. Laughs right in his face, and it’s kinda hot, and he thinks, _Spock is one lucky bastard._

“Seriously?” she asks, still chuckling and shaking her head. “Have you _never_ had sex with someone you actually cared about?”

Jim could do without the pity in her tone and there’s no way he’s going to answer that question. He is her captain, after all. “Thank you, Lieutenant,” he says, mustering what’s left of his dignity.

She shakes her head again and turns toward the door. It slides open and she steps through, pausing to look back over her shoulder.

“It’s _so_ worth it,” she promises, just before the door slides shut behind her.

 

 

 

_“Spock to Kirk.”_

Jim flips open his communicator. “Hey, Spock. ’Sup?” (Jim only answers his communicator like that when it’s Spock because he knows – or at least hopes – it drives Spock crazy.)

 _“Captain, Doctor McCoy and I were scheduled to return the shuttle to the_ Enterprise _at this time.”_

“Right. So, what? You wanna hang out for awhile? That’s cool. Just make sure you get him home by midnight.” Jim smiles, imagining Spock’s look of carefully veiled exasperation.

_“Ambassador Spock has requested that Doctor McCoy and I…‘stay for dinner.’”_

“’Kay. No problem.”

_“He has also requested that you and Lieutenant Uhura join us.”_

Jim rolls his eyes. “Of course he has.”

A pause. _“I’m sorry, Captain. Does that mean you do intend to attend?”_

“I don’t know. Is he cooking?”

_“The Ambassador has declared his intention to prepare some of our mother’s favorite recipes.”_

“Wait – like, _Earth_ recipes? Tell the Ambassador that I am _so_ there.”

_“And Lieutenant Uhura?”_

Jim looks over his shoulder and smiles. “She would be delighted. Tell the Ambassador we’re on our way.”

 

 

“Did it ever occur to you that I might not want to go?” Uhura asks as they stand together on the turbolift.

“Lieutenant Uhura, are you familiar with the term _Yenta_?”

“Captain, is this a double date?”

Jim considers the question. “If I say ‘yes,’ will you come help me pick out a shirt?”

 

 

After Jim’s quarters, they head to Uhura’s. Jim pretends not to look while Uhura tries on outfits and Uhura pretends to believe Jim isn’t looking.

“That one,” Jim says on her third attempt. “Totally that one.” Then: “Does this mean we’re girlfriends now?”

 

 

 

They’re greeted at the door by their own Spock. “The Ambassador and Doctor McCoy are in the kitchen,” he tells Jim, before looking over at his girlfriend. “Lieutenant Uhura, you are not in uniform.”

Jim snorts. “I’m no expert on protocol, Spock, but I believe the words you’re looking for here are: ‘Damn, Nyota, you are _smokin’_ tonight.’”

“Captain, the Lieutenant is not in the habit of consuming tobacco or any other recreational combustibles. Nor is she herself on fire.”

“ _Spock_ , that is—” Jim stops and studies Spock’s face. “That was a joke,” he concludes after a moment, a grin spreading across his face. “See, I’m totally learning. The Ambassador’s like you with training wheels. Still, it must be said: the lady is looking lovely this evening.”

Spock looks at her again and nods. “That she is.”

Uhura punches Jim in the arm as she steps past him to follow Spock into the Ambassador’s home.

Jim knows it’s a gesture of love.

 

 

Bones also tells Uhura she looks lovely.

He says nothing, however, about the smokingness that is Jim.

Jim forgives him, though, seeing as he probably has no idea that they’re on a date.

They all commend the Ambassador on an excellent meal.

After several hours of surprisingly easy and pleasant conversation, they begin to say their goodbyes.

“Spock, you can beam back with Uhura,” Jim announces. “I’ll drive Bones home.”

Bones rolls his eyes. “I’m your CMO, Jim, not your prom date.”

“Does that mean you’re _not_ going to put out?” Jim quips.

Bones doesn’t answer, just chuckles as he says goodbye to the Ambassador.

Then it’s Jim’s turn.

“I have enjoyed seeing you again, old friend,” Spock Prime says.

Jim may not have the best eyebrow raise on his crew, but he’s still got one. “As much as you enjoyed throwing me for a loop?” he asks.

“That was not my intention.”

“Yeah, well…”

“It would please me, however, to know that you have heeded my words.”

“No promises,” Jim says. “But I’m thinking about it.”

 

 

It’s all he’s thinking about, really, as he and Bones walk back to the hospital to retrieve the shuttle. Bones needs to stop back in to tell the doctors ‘one last thing’ and Jim goes with.

‘One last thing’ turns into one last detailed discussion on the relative merits of various forms of brain surgery and Bones gets so passionate and he sounds so damn smart – and Jim knows it’s not just him with his complete lack of medical knowledge being easily impressed because he watches the way the Vulcan doctors listen and he can tell they’re impressed, too.

Bones is fully dressed and not sweating even a little.

And Jim totally wants to jump him.

Which is when Jim decides he’s done enough thinking.

 

 

“So,” Jim says as he guides the shuttle out of the planet’s atmosphere, going for a casual tone, “Nyota thinks I should try sleeping with someone I actually care about.”

“Since when do you and _Nyota_ talk about sex?” Bones is gripping at the armrests as the shuttle rocks a bit, but his voice is pretty normal, which Jim figures is good. “And has she _met_ you?”

“We’ve been bonding,” Jim informs him. “And I don’t know, she could have a point.”

Bones shrugs. “I suppose she could.”

Jim waits for a second, but Bones doesn’t go on. Jim was hoping he’d be a little quicker on the uptake.

“The problem,” Jim continues, “is that there aren’t all that many people I actually care about. You know, in that way.”

Bones shakes his head and laughs. “It’s called _dating_ , Jim. The kind where you don’t fall into bed with the woman the night you meet her. Or, if you do, the kind where you actually stick around to talk to her again over breakfast.”

Jim nods slowly. “Huh,” he says. “I’ll have to try that sometime.”

 

 

They walk together from the shuttle bay to the officers’ deck and when they get to the place where Jim would normally break off to head for his own quarters, he doesn’t.

“Where are you going?” Bones asks.

Jim grins. “What kind of prom date would I be if I didn’t walk you to your door?”

Bones chuckles as they come to a stop in front of his quarters. He punches in the code and the doors slide open. He stands in the doorway facing Jim. “What?” he says. “No goodnight kiss?”

Jim steps forward, slips a hand around the back of Bones’ neck and kisses him for all he’s worth.

He can feel Bones’ shock against his lips, but he also feels Bones kissing back for a few seconds before Jim pulls away.

Bones blinks at him.

Jim smiles. He kinda gets what Uhura was talking about now.

“Night, Bones,” he says.

Jim is several steps down the hall when he hears Bones ask, “Jim?”

But Jim doesn’t stop or answer.

Bones is a smart guy. He’ll figure it out.

 

 

Jim is on the bridge the following morning when Bones figures it out.

They’ve just left orbit around New Vulcan and plotted a course for the Mutara Sector for their next assignment when Bones steps out of the turbolift.

“Captain?” he says.

“Yes, Doctor?”

“Can I see you in your office?”

“Of course.”

Jim can feel Uhura behind him, trying to smother a grin. He may have pulled her aside in the mess this morning to tell her all about the kiss. Possibly.

Bones doesn’t say anything else until the office door slides shut behind them. When it does, the conversation goes something like:

Bones: Jim, are we dating?  
Jim: Sort of.  
Bones: Shouldn’t there be more sex?  
Jim: You said not on the first date.  
Bones: I said not on the first date _unless_ it includes breakfast.  
Jim: So, um, breakfast in my quarters? Tomorrow morning?  
Bones: Works for me.  
Jim [leering]: Or…  
Bones [growling]: Yeah?

Which is how Jim ends up on his knees, blowing Bones, while Bones grips the edge Jim’s desk and tries not to yell because the walls just aren’t that soundproof. As far as Jim’s concerned, it’s the best use his desk has been put to since they started this whole mission.

And if they’re both a little flushed as they step back onto the bridge, the crew’ll probably just figure they were arguing in there.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

They still have breakfast in Jim’s quarters the next morning.

And while Bones is in the shower, Jim takes a minute to send Spock Prime a thank you note.

**Author's Note:**

> _**Original Prompt:** Kirk finds out from OriginalUniverse!Spock that Kirk had unrequited attraction and love for Bones but it was never reciprocated, leading to awkwardness and possibly an end to their friendship. At first Kirk is mortified, then intrigued by the idea of wanting McCoy as a lover._


End file.
